I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize