these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize