Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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