I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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