Her vagina should come with caution tape.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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