I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
