Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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