It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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