okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
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Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
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My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I deserve this hangover.
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