can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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