i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Come share oat with me in your robe
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
