At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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