Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
