We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
