I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
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He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
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I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine