Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.