Texts From Last Night

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  (240): View more from Maryland

  No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic

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  (240): No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic http://tfl.nu/pmgj
  Replies (23) Good night (828) Bad night (2882)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.

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  (803): worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week. http://tfl.nu/ib48
  Replies (28) Good night (661) Bad night (3103)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.

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  (308): Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies. http://tfl.nu/eijo
  Replies (20) Good night (7918) Bad night (725)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window

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  (775): Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window http://tfl.nu/dk3n
  Replies (10) Good night (1899) Bad night (861)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.

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  (828): Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog. http://tfl.nu/3nqo
  Replies (4) Good night (2120) Bad night (746)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis

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  (508): if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis http://tfl.nu/xw63
  Replies (5) Good night (1874) Bad night (539)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?

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  (514): Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final? http://tfl.nu/e8i7
  Replies (28) Good night (2485) Bad night (641)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.

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  (403): You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck. http://tfl.nu/6fxi
  Replies (4) Good night (1333) Bad night (429)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.

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  (407): I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs. http://tfl.nu/utt1
  Replies (9) Good night (2242) Bad night (461)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.

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  (908): I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly. http://tfl.nu/i4iy
  Replies (3) Good night (537) Bad night (1125)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.

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  (314): How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night. http://tfl.nu/t7tp
  Replies (5) Good night (598) Bad night (878)
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  (818): View more from California

  You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.

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  (818): You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar. http://tfl.nu/wmr3
  Replies (8) Good night (793) Bad night (293)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?

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  (207): You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet? http://tfl.nu/ukgu
  Replies (5) Good night (843) Bad night (269)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.

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  (727): His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten. http://tfl.nu/7i5j
  Replies (12) Good night (797) Bad night (212)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen

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  (256): I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen http://tfl.nu/i9fp
  Replies (1) Good night (746) Bad night (167)

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