Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.

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(404): Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one. http://tfl.nu/q7a8

Replies (2) Good night (2821) Bad night (591)
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(408): View more from California

i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both

(650): View more from California

i think otters can do that

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(408): i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both (650): i think otters can do that http://tfl.nu/vhzk

Replies (18) Good night (3422) Bad night (681)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off

(617): View more from Massachusetts

he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.

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(919): i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off (617): he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich. http://tfl.nu/ubgv

Replies (28) Good night (2821) Bad night (881)
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(410): View more from Maryland

guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.

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(410): guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance. http://tfl.nu/rnd5

Replies (37) Good night (7904) Bad night (1616)
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(740): View more from Ohio

I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out

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(740): I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out http://tfl.nu/uo3s

Replies (14) Good night (5274) Bad night (758)
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(281): View more from Texas

my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.

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(281): my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious. http://tfl.nu/99ri

Replies (48) Good night (6232) Bad night (1199)
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(561): View more from Florida

hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger

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(561): hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger http://tfl.nu/hhlu

Replies (18) Good night (3810) Bad night (1178)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.

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(910): I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy. http://tfl.nu/pewg

Replies (8) Good night (1644) Bad night (4555)
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(251): View more from Alabama

I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.

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(251): I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight. http://tfl.nu/6i3x

Replies (13) Good night (4798) Bad night (1377)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here

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(248): Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here http://tfl.nu/ic1h

Replies (7) Good night (2836) Bad night (1033)
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(847): View more from Illinois

That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am

(248): View more from Michigan

Hahaha. That's funny.

(847): View more from Illinois

But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship

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(847): That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am (248): Hahaha. That's funny. (847): But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship http://tfl.nu/cr13

Replies (6) Good night (3335) Bad night (658)
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(714): View more from California

She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.

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(714): She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap. http://tfl.nu/1x8o

Replies (10) Good night (642) Bad night (1343)
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(303): View more from Colorado

New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...

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(303): New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later... http://tfl.nu/qijg

Replies (4) Good night (1048) Bad night (402)
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(330): View more from Ohio

my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark

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(330): my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark http://tfl.nu/b8mx

Replies (9) Good night (903) Bad night (622)
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(206): View more from Washington

Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.

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(206): Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food. http://tfl.nu/emne

Replies (2) Good night (215) Bad night (517)

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