Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Whats up?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Stay up. I'm coming home in a little

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you

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  (847): Whats up? (402): Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down (847): Stay up. I'm coming home in a little (402): Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you http://tfl.nu/2oii
  Replies (2) Good night (2341) Bad night (827)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"

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  (574): apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!" http://tfl.nu/r6a4
  Replies (25) Good night (3551) Bad night (1288)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.

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  (517): when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch. http://tfl.nu/wqdf
  Replies (6) Good night (506) Bad night (3170)
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  (718): View more from New York

  no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.

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  (718): no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours. http://tfl.nu/ektb
  Replies (3) Good night (4081) Bad night (1044)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.

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  (803): so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer. http://tfl.nu/xrhj
  Replies (6) Good night (4015) Bad night (855)
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  (650): View more from California

  Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.

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  (650): Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart. http://tfl.nu/8dw8
  Replies (18) Good night (5355) Bad night (1274)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.

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  (360): We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times. http://tfl.nu/t6mj
  Replies (4) Good night (1517) Bad night (2365)
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  (+33): View more from France

  Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee

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  (+33): Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee http://tfl.nu/uze3
  Replies (23) Good night (1042) Bad night (4372)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.

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  (937): Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it. http://tfl.nu/m5np
  Replies (9) Good night (3572) Bad night (1035)
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  (353): View more from

  I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.

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  (353): I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina. http://tfl.nu/ajvp
  Replies (5) Good night (1334) Bad night (448)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.

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  (972): I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards. http://tfl.nu/fq92
  Replies (8) Good night (1673) Bad night (550)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.

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  (231): Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly. http://tfl.nu/dx8m
  Replies (4) Good night (1114) Bad night (361)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm

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  (701): I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm http://tfl.nu/cb7y
  Replies (8) Good night (274) Bad night (496)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!

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  (289): You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed! http://tfl.nu/yyc5
  Replies (0) Good night (412) Bad night (220)
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  (560): View more from

  I dapped up a cop while leaving the party

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  (560): I dapped up a cop while leaving the party http://tfl.nu/6zgz
  Replies (1) Good night (368) Bad night (203)

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