well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
