im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
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