Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
