New low: just hacked my moms facebook
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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