man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
