Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
My feet surprised me
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