totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
