Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
