So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
