Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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