So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Randomize
