Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize