Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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