I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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