hell yes lets make some ravioli
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
