Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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