Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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