okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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