Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
