Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
