and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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