just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
