Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize