this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
