I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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