did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
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Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
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That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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