btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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