New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
