I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Less talking, more tequila
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
