me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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