just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
