jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
