forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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