im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
