The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
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I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
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She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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