I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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