i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize