My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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