I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
