I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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