Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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