went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
they're like a gay fantastic four
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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