My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
