Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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